Flirting on your phone is alluringly convenient; you can even find a match while waiting for your coffee to be brewed. While it may seem like a simpler way of dating, this modern form of meeting new people has its own issues. Here are our tips on how to maximise dating apps and websites.
Hope for the best, expect the worse
As easy as it may seem, there is a lot to consider before you start swiping for that potential partner. We know it’s tempting to get your hopes up when you start chatting with a match like it happens in the movies but online chemistry often has zero correlation to IRL appeal.
While there is some truth to claims that swipers rely on apps like Tinder for the sporadic hook-up, there are many that end up getting hitched to people they meet. Explore with an open mind so you won’t have to deal with an unforeseen wave of disappointment.
Choose the right medium
There is now an overwhelming variety of dating avenues that can potentially fit your personal preference. For instance, the app Coffee Meets Bagels features a more curated selection of partners than just endlessly swiping through everyone since you have to fill in a more detailed profile; Bumble is where women get to speak to the guys first if they choose to; EliteSingles is for working professionals looking for real relationships while Paktor, a Singapore-based app, taps into users’ need for discretion.
Believe it or not, there are also specialised apps for Muslims such as Minder and Muzmatch. While there are similarities between Muslim and mainstream dating apps, features like Minder’s allowing “chaperones” to peek at your messages make Muslim-catered apps stand out.
Let it be free and easy
A lot of apps feature free and paid versions. Opting not to pay for your membership won’t stop you from meeting potential suitors. Paid memberships often offer perks like the ability to swipe right on an unlimited number of potential matches but it only makes a difference if you’re a serial swiper. If you’re a beginner, try different platforms and apps to see what works instead of financially committing to one option.
Set your boundaries
This rule isn’t just subjected to online dating. Despite how daunting it can be, imagine how much time you will save by establishing what you’re actually looking for. You don’t have to declare outright that you’re hunting for a friend with benefits or a life partner. Try to casually include it in the conversation and stress that you’re bringing it up to make sure you’re both on the same page.
The write stuff
The words you use to describe yourself have to be chosen wisely. Relationship coach Rachel DeAlto told INSIDER that you shouldn’t fall into the trap of sounding or looking inauthentic. A dating profile should zero in on your interests, explain what makes you unique, and illustrate that you’re a person worth spending one-on-one time with.
Avoid negative tones and always be positive about yourself. Poor grammar and spelling can also be a turn-off, and even the best of us can make mistakes, so don’t be afraid to use spell check even for a simple profile write-up.
Relationship coach and founder of dating site A Little Nudge said in The Independent that you should only upload four or five photos along with your profile. “People have a tendency to look through every picture and find one they don’t like, and then dismiss you because of that one,” she said.
Include at least a couple of clear headshots, at least one full-length photo and action shots to further illustrate your personality. Most importantly, make sure the shots are recent to avoid complaints that you don’t look like the photos you posted.
This article is an excerpt from UNRESERVED’s November 2019 issue from the article SURVIVING DATING APPS & WEBSITES